How It’s Going

It’s been almost 4 months since I hit ‘block contact’ on a very toxic person. The block of course doesn’t mean: forgotten.

It’s been almost 4 months plus 5 days since I received a toxic reply that reminded me I had done the right thing.

So how’s it going?

Well for one and def the best thing: I feel like that anxious, dreading wave has stopped hitting me when I lay in bed at night. I don’t know how I managed through so many years of that. The broken sleep, the not being able to fall asleep. The rumination, the imaginary conversations I would have with myself, trying to find the right way to say something so I’d be met with even a nano-gram of accountability. Or comprehension.

I’m nicer. And funnier.

My friendships are better, closer, more vulnerable.

I’m focused on the things that matter. Work, healthier finances, my relationships.

There’s no part of me that misses that toxic narcissist. Zero. Nothing. I say that with sincerity.

I do still have moments where I want to reply to that last toxic note, but I’ll watch a few TikTok videos on it and I’m grounded again.

My life is infinitely better without him or anything related to him in it.

So I just keep going with the space between getting further and further behind me.

And that’s how it’s going. ❤️